I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize