i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize