with your own penis?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
id be glad to
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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