Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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