So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think my tv is drunk
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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