we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rumble strips road head = magical
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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