don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
