you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
