i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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