i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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