the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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