maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
