Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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