So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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