she looked like the bat from fern gully.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
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Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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