It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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