ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
