Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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