coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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