I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So many bounce houses so little time
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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