The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
