my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
