I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
