We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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