Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
