wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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