Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize