Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
