Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
