one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
