Non-Jews are for practice
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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