best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
