She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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