Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
