i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
