Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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