Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize