Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
only if we run a train.
done.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize