bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
