Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
