Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dignity is for republicans.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
