That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
