Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
