oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have tasted many bathrooms
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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