I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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