We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???