i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT