I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..