You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
