a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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