i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
