but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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