Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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