Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
