4 words: hood of his car
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
