I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
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I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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