One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
