i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
