So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
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Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
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A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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