Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
