What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
