I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
